tristan

in recent weeks i've taken some time off to work on studio renovations, and recharge a bit creatively.

the idea to take on a long term project has been weighing on my mind. i am a firm believer that you get back what you put out in the world, and that so many amazing stories go untold simply because no one takes the time to listen. 

when i read a late night message detailing a tiny, sweet boy it seemed like the universe was stepping in. 

then i met his mama. and it took about 2 minutes before i realized that was exactly where i should be. 

we sat in the hospital lobby and she filled me in on the details of her pregnancy. How a diagnosis of HELLP syndrome led to the premature birth of her little boy. Unfathomable to me, the mother of a chunky 42 weeker. but not new for her, as both of her previous girls were born early due to pre-eclampsia. 

i listened for awhile, about how difficult it is to not be there for your older children, to give up control over the daily tasks that define us as mothers. and i fought back a few tears looking at this woman who, honestly, gives the appearance of being quite put together.  

after an extra elevator ride to retrieve a forgotten cell phone (not mine, for once!!) we arrived at the NICU doors. New territory for me. I spent the 3 minute required hand washing time mentally preparing myself for a staff that may not welcome me , and the sight of the tiniest baby i have seen to date. 

i spend a lot of my time in hospitals, and consider myself well versed in the varying personalities of the staff. but the nurses in this nicu were some of the kindest i have ever encountered. the hushed tones were peaceful, and i found myself quite content to just sit and talk about life with tricia. however minor my role may be, i am so grateful to document these early days. 

tristan is tiny. but the sight of him did not jar me the way i anticipated. he is perfect, beautiful, strong and just a whole lot smaller than the newborns i snuggle everyday. 

he has made so many steps forward already, and i am looking forward to sharing his progress with you. it is so very important to remember that not every family carries a big, fat baby out of the hospital. for some the journey is long and full of uncertainty. keep this little guy in your thoughts and prayers.